Have You Ever Been So Dog-gone Mad In All Your Life?

i know i'm not the kindest man that's ever lived
but no-one seems to like
the way i like to give
it's fine to tell your tales
of up against the wind
but no-one seems to like
the way i like to sin

so once upon my puberty you made
a simpletons' joke on me
which i have since forgave
so once upon one drunken evening too
you made me feel
like i was less than you

so don't fuck with me
unless you're ready to lose
your little nickel-dime life
to my nike shoes
there's a body looking ugly
at the end of the tale
i said
this is not for sale